we have been given hope! oh joy!
what i'm about to blog about is going to make all of you think that we have an incompetent doc. and yes it may all sound that way after you've read this but all i can say is both b & i simply can not explain the situation below simply because we believed it as well. and for those who know me, you would know that i ALWAYS check my facts, even for the simplest or smallest of decisions, because i'm so anal and i do NOT like to be wrong. hence i can't explain why in this situation (which is HUGE), i, even b did not bother to verify the facts! it's almost like we were in a dream. thinking back, it just feels so, so strange because it's not me.
here it goes: my first baby did not have trisomy 13. he had trisomy 18. which means we have a slightly better hope (we never gave up on our hopes - it's just a "more optimistic" one now) because this can not be a hereditary thing! i can not explain my doc's wrong conclusion about trisomy 13 in the first pregnancy. i can not explain our own convictions that our boy also had trisomy 13. we have copies of the test results from our first boy. we believed it so strongly that he had trisomy 13 that we did not bring the report out to verify or to confirm it. maybe all three of us were "clouded in a haze". yes i agree that she has more responsibility simply because she's the doc. but how do i explain MY own out of characteristic-ness? i can't.
i know all the slack i'm going to get and all the "should you change docs?" but you know what? we are sticking with her. people might think that we are crazy to do so but BOTH b & i are comfortable & feel safe with her because she has always wanted what's best for me, medically of course. we know that she's on our side. she's not giving up on us having a baby. she continues to hope for us as well.
of course now the outlook is better in the sense that our second pregnancy could have been another "fluke of nature". but then, couples usually only go through one episode of any "flukes of nature". it seems like we are hitting all the big ones. our case is extremely rare that we hit 18 and then now 13. my doc says the chances of winning the lottery is easier than hitting 18 AND then 13.
i'm stumped now. i dont know where to go to look for stats or answers on our case. all the websites just tell you all about either trisomy 18 or trisomy 13. what bout us? our babies had both!
my doc does not want us to worry when there is nothing to worry about now because our blood tests are not back yet. she remains very optimistic for us. i guess in her own way, she is also pulling us through.
well, like i said, we are sticking with her. like my friend p said, don't care what other people might say or think, as long as I am comfortable with her, then it's ok to stick with her - just remember to reconfirm everything from now on!