i've always HATED taking the elevators. but now that i've got baby c and we bring him out in his buggy, i've got no choice but to take the lifts. i simply won't risk using the escalators with him in the buggy. pet peeves about people who use the elevators:

• ones who rush in front of you even though you have been waiting for some time
• ones who rush into the elevators, press the floor that they want and move to the back of the elevator, not bothering if the doors close or remain open for others to get in
• ones who do not thank you when you hold the doors for them. what am i? your doormen?
• ones who block the level buttons and don't move away when you want to press the level that you want. again, neither do they hold nor close the doors
• ones who simply rush into the elevators without letting people get out first
• ones who take their own sweet time getting into the elevators when you're holding the doors for them
• ones who do not make room for you to get in even though there's ample room

i'm pretty sure there are more that i've missed here. but these are the ones that i remember now. any more from you guys out there?

sigh...............because of all the above, whenever baby c is not sleeping and i'm carrying him in his baby bjorn, we take the escalators. b pushes an empty buggy. but right now, it's only in the "up" direction as b doesn't think he can handle going down. ;)

thank you aunty p for the onesie. it is VERY me - ; )

want a piece of me?

again, i LOVE the onesie. it describes me to the t! (since i always look for boobies to suck on, be them my mummy's or other's, be they female OR male)

the next favourite thing besides boobies are my fists. at least i have access to them anytime i want them!

i do not like the camera. it blocks out mummy's face!

mummy has decided that i do NOT look good in sleeveless tops. who cares that i live in kl where it's warm most of the time?

mummy thinks that i look like a 'cina-man' in sleeveless tops. do you agree?

concentrating on my mobile above my cot. i frown whenever i concentrate or whenever i process new stuff.

hehe....i figured out the mobile.....

see? i can do monkey faces already!

look at the scar on my forehead. i like to scratch myself to show that i'm a toughie. don't mess with me!

favourite past time, sucking my fist.

note to self: the very first movie (in the cinema) after giving birth, that i watch should never, ever be an end of the world movie. b & i watched 2012 the other day and all i could think about was rushing home to be with baby. i definitely did not enjoy the movie as throughout the movie all the "what ifs" were running through my mind. it obviously didn't help that the movie had the prerequisite emotional family moments: a mother begging another mother to save her kids, etc. to top it off, it was 2 1/2 hours long! it was such torture!

baby c went through a phase of not drinking milk at all the past weeks. sure, he would feed from my breasts but i definitely do not produce enough to sustain him on my breastmilk alone. we were making bottles for him and throwing the contents away. needless to say, b and i were worried.
other than not taking milk, he was perfectly fine. he would smile, laugh and babble away. hence i decided to wait until his doctor's appointment to bring it up. and guess what? apparently it's normal for babies aged between 2 to 4 months to behave this way. phew, what a relief! i certainly have not heard about this phase before. i talked to a fellow mum and it happened with her daughter as well. ah well..............i'm glad to announce that baby c is back to his feeding schedule as of this week.


you know how everyone always say that formula is not cheap? (we spend RM73 for a tin of formula that lasts a week for baby c now) well, b has his own take on this issue. he says that we should not look at it as being expensive as the tin of formula feeds baby for numerous meals for ONE whole week and it's only RM73 as whenever we go out for a meal (chili's, delicious, banquet, etc) we spend the same amount for ONE meal. i guess it makes sense huh? what's your take?

here's MY thoughts on some of the malls in kl:

bsc - the baby room is well done up, well lit and clean. it has a sink, a supremely padded changing table and a really comfy armchair. you can actually take a pretty good nap in there. however, bsc has a grand total of three baby rooms to serve the old AND new wing, which is not enough to say the least. considering the fact that bsc does not have seats or sofas around the mall (besides the ones in between chili's and dome) you have to either go to the baby room or be in a dining outlet in order to breastfeed. who in the world can breastfeed standing up?! also, you wouldn't want to breastfeed on the seats between chili's and dome because it's a high traffic area and the seats have no backs. sure they have seats in the loos but it won't be the place i would head to to breastfeed! i was breastfeeding in the baby room the other night and people kept on trying to open the door which in turn kept on distracting baby c. i was extremely annoyed to say the least. also, bsc does not have a toilet in the baby room. hence i would not be able to mooch around bsc with baby alone. how would i go to the loo and what, leave baby in his pram outside my stall?! to think that bsc is supposed to be one of the better malls around town (just because they serve mostly expats), it is really disappointing to know that they didn't put in enough thought for mothers and babies. i really had high hopes for them considering their major renovations and overhaul. oh and the changing table is kinda high for me (a shorty).

bv - the baby room and the disabled toilet is one and the same. so plus point is that i can mooch around bv alone with baby because i can bring him into the baby room with me in his pram BUT the cleaning crew is obviously not doing their jobs because the baby room really smells. so it's kinda gross in there. the few times i've been in there, i refused to push the pram in. i went in there did as quick a job of changing baby c as i could and got the hell out of there. bv is like bsc, no seats around the mall either and no seat in the disabled toilet (not that i would even think of breastfeeding baby c in there!).

1u - like bv, the baby room and disabled toilet is one and the same and the condition of the room is also like bv's - dirty, wet, smelly and gross. they do have baby rooms in the ladies toilet which is much cleaner possibly because it's dry. however, everytime i've been into the toilets in 1u, there are the cleaners and promoters sleeping in the rooms. so....................... 1u does have lots of seats around the mall. just look for ones with backs and in quieter areas like in the new wing in front of zara.

gardens - my absolute favourite! they have obviously put in time and effort to plan the baby rooms. the rooms are big, clean, has a sink, a changing table, a seat and a toilet. the rooms have dim lighting and it almost feels like a hotel toilet. the baby rooms are on certain floors only but that's ok because on that particular floor, you would find 6 baby rooms (3 on each end). hence, i love going to the gardens with baby in tow (alone or not). well, at least i do not have to leave him in his pram outside my stall should i need to use the loo! also, isetan has a baby room as well. they have private cubicles (closed off with curtains) should you need to breastfeed. also, they provide water in the baby room.

i know there are more malls around town but i have not gotten to them yet. so, once i have, i'll have updates!

my 14 year old uncle rocking me (he was not allowed to carry me AND stand up at the same time then). he simply dotes on me. he will just sit and watch me sleep. and he never gets tired of me!

so..........it has started.....................i do not bat an eyelid when plonking down RM119 each on baby's clothes. but i hyperventilate when i see a top that costs the same for me. i only buy bajus on extreme sale and NEVER over RM60 now. how sad..............and to think that his bajus has so little cloth!

the many faces of our little shaolin monk (as b puts it)

my rocker and i

new things baby c has learnt:

• to hold in his spit-ups to then spew it all out like a fountain
• that he has hands! he likes to try to fit his whole fists into his mouth
• to sneeze while never letting go of his latch to my breast (he sneezes with my nipple still in his mouth, then he acts as if nothing happened and continues suckling)
• to purse his lips before he bursts into tears
• to lift his bum-bum when i want to wash his back to make it easier for me to wash him (it's a long story. my tub is one with contours so it's difficult for me to turn him onto his front to wash his back)

so.........last week baby c went through non-stop crying sessions in the mornings. it was pure torture - for me!!!! nothing i did could soothe him. i thought he was in pain and after three continuous mornings with him crying non-stop, off to the doctor's we went. the diagnosis? colic.
contrary to popular belief, colic is NOT gas/wind. while having gas/wind can be a cause of colic, colic is defined as indeterminate crying. to diagnose colic, baby has to cry for 3 hours straight, 3 days in a row, usually at nights and starting from 3 weeks. well, baby c fit the first two criteria. and hence, we were given dentinox. this apparently calms babies down. we were supposed to notice a change in him after two days. well, i can't say for sure if it's the dentinox because i kept on forgetting to give it to baby but his crying bouts did stop. what a sigh of relief!
to be stuck at home - alone - without help or breaks with a howling baby is no joke. it can literally drive you mad. but all praises to god because he has not have any crying sessions anymore! and no he did not have wind in his tummy...............


two ways of pure torture (in case anyone ever needs tips): sleep deprivation AND a non-stop crying baby hour after hour!

things i never thought i'd miss:

• eating food hot or at the very least warm. this goes for my drinks as well. i do not remember what a hot drink tastes like anymore
• not having to rush through a meal
• the luxury of going to the loo whenever the need arises!
• just picking up and leaving to do whatever it is i feel like doing
• watching a movie in the cinema
• the luxury of time to do whatever i want; eg reading, the crossword puzzle, watching a movie straight through

things that have not changed since my pregnancy:

• i can't fit into my pre-pregnancy shoes anymore
• i can't fit into any of my rings (time for a new wedding ring from b? an upgrade perhaps!)
• i'm still tired all the time (at least this makes sense)

on the other hand, i must say i've gotten really good at multitasking (not that i was bad before) and packing as much as i can do into what little free time i have (very productive). the best gift baby has given me is to teach me to just let chores be and just to sit around and just enjoy him! : )

• ever since i suspended breastfeeding during the time i had my abdominal pains, i've had difficulties in getting baby to feed from my breasts. i do not know how he learned so quickly to reject my breasts for feeds. he only wants the bottles during feed times and my breasts for comfort suckling. sigh..........so now i express out my milk for him to put into the bottles for feeds. i guess since he takes his food so seriously he couldn't be bothered to work at my breasts to get the milk out. so lazy.......
• i've since learnt that a full-time mothering job is a real test in patience AND endurance!! for those who know me well, i am seriously lacking in both departments. so ahem.......it's been a struggle BUT it's getting better.
• i've also learnt that you can never plan or learn everything in relation to what you would and would not do in raising your baby. everything i ever read about raising baby has flown out the door! sometimes you just have to wing it and follow your instincts.
• i'm now living on baby's time. he rules my world now. we never get to wherever we want to go on time anymore (which is so different for me).

entertaining myself when i refused to go to bed at midnight.

thank you auntie p for the organic bamboo kimono and swaddle. they are so soft! the kimono has made it a breeze for mummy to change my diapers during the wee hours of the morning when everyone's half asleep!

thank you auntie g for the onesies (especially the 100% organic cotton!). i love that one so much that i wore it for my full moon do!

saying hi to auntie who's in leeds

the first day that i was all alone with baby, i'll admit that i was terrified and nervous. i got so used to having people around and not looking after him myself that i went into a comfort zone. the morning was terrible. he wouldn't sleep and wanted to be carried the whole morning. by the time b came home for lunch, i was in tears. it was so tough! i was wondering why was it so easy for the confinement lady to handle him and not me? i was questioning myself. b offered to bring baby to the office but i refused(i wonder how that would work?). i knew that i had to persevere and to adjust to baby and to learn how to handle him. so i marched on through the afternoon. although it was not perfect, it was much better than the morning session.
and now here i am one week later, and i must say i'm glad i persevered and both baby and i thoroughly enjoy our times together. i can not believe that within a week, we have fallen into more or less a routine. i'd get up bright and early before 7 and prepare for the day ahead. wash bottles, sterilise, disinfect changing table, empty diaper bin, do laundry, do the floors then have breakfast. by that time, baby is half awake. b will bring him out to me and i'd clean him up and change him. then it's either he goes back to sleep or we'll have a "wakeful" period where i talk and sing to him and he coos, smiles and laughs back at me. and after this session, it's feeding time and then down for a nap. before his next feed (which is 3 hourly now), he'll get up and we'll have tummy time. by then b would be back with lunch. sometimes, baby will also entertain himself and i'd do some household chores. when b is back, i get an hour to eat, pump, wash and sterilise bottles and bathe (for all the spit-ups, pees, sneezes and sometimes poop!) before he heads back to work. baby will have naps and another round of "wakeful" period and tummy time in the afternoon. b will arrive home from work at about 6ish and then i'll prepare baby's bath. baby has his bath, then a feed and then he's off to bed. and i must say, this routine has stuck and i'm pretty happy about it as baby's in bed latest by 7pm.
after 7, b and i will have our own time to do our own things. for me, it'd be to catch up on household chores or if i'm really tired, i'd just eat then off to bed i go for the night sessions. b handles baby at night and the nighttime feeds while i prepare the bottles for him to feed baby. then the same routine starts again the next day. well, i'm just happy that both baby and i have finally adjusted to each other and though there are still some bad moments (eg wanting to be carried all the time, won't sleep soundly, lack of sleep, diaper explosions and baby's not co-operating by wailing and squirming so much that poo gets everywhere - not pretty) i must say that when he looks at me and smiles, laughs and coos, everything is totally worth it. i guess babies have a way of making the good times extremely outweigh the bad times!

http://two-pixels.net/?p=58

after the clean-up at the o.r.

all hooked up on iv. the huge dome over his head supplies oxygen. this pic still breaks my heart.

under uv light for jaundice.

after one of our 3 hourly breastfeed sessions at nicu.

happy and contented after the breastfeeding session (obviously! since i was being sabotaged by the nurses there with them supplementing him!)

finally! home sweet home.

he makes this face whenever he's pee-ing.

after a formula supplemented session.

at times he screams his head off when we put him into his car seat. but when he's in the car itself, the car ride never fails to put him to sleep.

my little angel : )

i got re-admitted to the hospital yesterday evening. i was having extreme abdominal pain. i had been having this pain off and on for the past week or so. i was on medication for the pain (which had nothing to do with my c-section as my womb has completely healed) but yesterday, it was so severe that the painkiller didn't work. my ob-gyn asked me to go the emergency ward at the hospital to get it checked out as on her end, she couldn't do anything more as she suspected that it was my bowels that was giving me pain.
so off i went to get it checked out. i was expecting to do some x-rays and then get some medication and be sent home. imagine my shock when the general surgeon (recommended by my doc) wanted to admit me for observation and tests. know what i did? i started bawling. i couldn't bear to be separated from baby. the thought of it was so distressing that it felt like it was the end of the world! thankfully the surgeon was very understanding and he calmly explained why he wanted me to stay overnight and even reassured me that it would most probably be just an overnighter. so i took the plunge and got admitted. i was miserable the whole time. i had my mum, brother and sister stay over at my place just to watch over baby (even though i have the confinement lady). i called my sis to take pictures of baby and to send to me via mms. i had b go home take more pictures and bring the camera to me. i just missed him so much! i know it sounds crazy but i thought i would die if i wasn't discharged today.
anyhow, i am home now and a lot happier : ) the surgeon has put the pain down to muscle cramps/spasms. he thinks that i probably managed to overstretch the muscles during this post-natal period. my ob-gyn thinks that it's also due to the sudden drop in hormones after delivery and my body is still coping post delivery. the pain still comes and goes but is much more tolerable. i've got new meds and hopefully after this round, the pain will go away completely.
want to know the damage? the bill was over 2k! thanks to prudential's medical card, it was covered! phew.............


g: i'm sorry, i'm sorry! the next blog will be pictures of him - promise!

so...........it's been some time since my last posting. and boy have things changed! i'm now a mother to baby c. i know from my last blog i said that i'd be on my own during the post-natal period. but i also did mention that i wouldn't be too thick-skinned to ask for help should i require it! and yes, i have help now. we (correction: my parents) hired a confinement lady for me. here's my story:

immediately after birth, c was whisked away to be warmed up as the operating theatre where the c-section took place was pretty cold. b went with him while i was being stitched back up. it was almost 2+ hours later before i was wheeled back into my room. i was so excited and i couldn't wait to see c for i only saw him for a brief moment in the o.r. when i finally got back to the room, b told me that he was admitted into the nicu (neo-natal icu) because he was breathing extremely hard. i was so shocked and immediately started to worry and wanted to cry. i couldn't see him at all. it was two days later before i could be wheeled down to see him in the nicu. it was two very difficult days for me. i guess the "baby blues" or rather mild depression set in early for me. i wanted so desperately to see him and to hold him but was not allowed to because of the operation and was not supposed to move around yet. i had b constantly go down to see him and to be with him. b would come back up with pictures and videos of him for me. it was even more painful for me to bear as he was all hooked up with iv lines and oxygen. i would cry privately to b when we were alone. when i was finally allowed to visit him in the nicu, i immediately breastfed him and he took to it like fish to water! i was so happy then. our visits were always in the 1/2 hour periods as by then he had developed jaundice. so he needed to be under the uv light constantly. he was in the nicu for 3 whole days. b and i would religiously wake every 3 hours throughout the day and night to go down to feed him as well as to spend time with him. all throughout this time, i would cry now and then as i felt that he was going through so much at just a few days old. when he was released from nicu, he couldn't be discharged as his jaundice was going up. so although now he was on the same floor as we were, he still needed to be under the uv light. and we kept up the same feeding pattern. he was finally able to be discharged by the 5th day.
however, as we had planned to have him circumcise (and since it's being done now at birth), we stayed another night. so all in all we stayed a whole week at the hospital. i had had enough of the hospital and was so eager to go home with him by the end of the week.
when we got home, things went so smoothly. he was a perfect angel until..............nighttime came. he just couldn't be satisfied. he constantly fed on my breast from 11pm to 4am. my nipples were so raw and sore from the constant sucking and i was so worked up as to why he didn't seem to get enough. he was crying and i was crying. nothing we did satisfied him. i hit rock bottom fast. throughout the next few days, it was horrible. it was always the same. he never got enough from my breasts. i would be sad, depressed, weepy, etc. i even thought that there was something wrong with me. why wasn't i producing enough milk for him?
then my mum came back to kl over the weekend and i was just crying and crying to her. why? why does he feed so much? then she suggested formula to give me a break and to lighten the burden. so i caved real quick. his first bottle of formula he finished it all up within 2 minutes. only after supplementing with formula would he be contented and sleep. i was so distraught by then that i couldn't even find relief and comfort that he was finally contented. i was just so depressed and weepy. that was when my mum suggested the confinement lady. i guess she was worried about my state of mind as well as my physical state.
all the books and lactation consultants were telling me that my breasts would produce enough. i just had to let him suckle more at my breasts. i listened to them and i did - through the pain. i would be breastfeeding and crying at the same time. that was how bad it was. they all seemed to only care for what's best for the baby.
when i saw my doc, the truth was revealed. at the hospital, they all supplement. that was why it was so perfect at the hospital and it was a nightmare at home. even when we saw his paediatrician, she said it was normal to supplement formula at the beginning as my breasts weren't producing enough yet. both docs agree as to why he feeds so much is because he's a big baby. hence he needs more.
why wasn't i told of this? why don't they even mention this in the books? and to think that i was blaming myself for the lack of milk or thinking that i had failed as a mother. i think that mothers-to-be out there should know about this. it's alright to supplement, especially if you have a big baby, and quite common too. i have been supplementing him with formula up until two days ago. yesterday, i cut out the formula during the day and only breastfed him throughout the day. he did well. it means that i am now producing more and enough to satisfy him as he dozes right off after a feed. i am now feeding on demand as he is already 3 weeks old. i only feed when he is hungry. and this has continued onto today. i still give him formula during the night times as he sleeps with the confinement lady. i thought i might as well get my sleep too since she's already here. anyway, the nighttime is only from 12am to 5am.
so, i want all women out there to know that you can supplement (for your own sanity!) and then you can wean babies off formula when your milk supply comes in. better to have a well fed baby and a happy, sane mother than the opposite.

i guess some of you are wondering what i'll be doing for the post-natal period; ie the confinement period. well, i did not hire a confinement lady and i will be at our apartment after the discharge from the hospital and handling baby on my own with b's help. b's mum will be cooking for me for that one month period.
i will let you all know right now that i personally don't believe in the whole confinement process. i've had so many friends come up to me to say that they regretted getting a confinement lady because they felt bullied into doing things that they never would have done for their baby had they been on their own (eg supplementing powdered milk because the confinement lady said that the baby's not getting enough breastmilk).
personally, since i've read so many books and actually helped to raise my brother (who was extremely small at birth) i've got things that i buy into and things that i don't. i guess i'm saying that i've got my own ideas on how things should be done (and i am quite a type-a sort of personality!). logically speaking, not being allowed to shower or wash hair is really quite disgusting and dirty (consider the fact that after delivery, you sweat buckets for a couple of weeks because you're losing all the retained water). can you imagine not being clean and then putting baby's mouth to your breast to feed? eew.....................also, wouldn't it be easier to catch germs in dirty conditions?! also, apparently, i'm not allowed to drink water, pure H2O, for the whole month. one should know that while breastfeeding, you get really dehydrated and this would affect the quality of your breastmilk.
anyhow, i'm not saying that i will purposely go against all these customs. it's just that i'll do everything in moderation and according to common sense. i think that's best.
and personally, i do not think that this is the time to tell me horror stories about how other women couldn't cope even with help post-natal (although i do admit that these stories i discard immediately). it's time to give me support because i'm going it alone and i'm excited!


* even though my mind is set, this will not stop me from asking for help if i really can't cope or if i take a longer time to heal!

so.................i went for my check-up yesterday. and guess what? baby has put on even more weight! he currently stands at 3.6kg! no wonder i've been feeling so tired and my tummy extremely tight these past few days.
anyhow, he's not even coming close to getting engaged. in fact he's moving further away from my pelvic bone area. here's the reason - the size of his head is the size of a 40 weeks old baby and the size of his tummy is the size of a 41 weeks old baby (i am only 39 weeks now). and apparently my pelvic bone region is too small to accommodate him (gee, i'm actually quite petite huh?). hence, my body has been rejecting his attempts in getting engaged.
my doc informed me that even if labour comes on naturally or even if she were to induce me and attempt to maneuver baby into position, i could be in labour for up to 8 hours and even then eventually needing a c-section because of the difference in size of my pelvic bone and his body. even if his head does engage, he might not be able to turn his body around enough to move through the birth canal and he might get stuck at his shoulders.
well, i ain't about to test my pain threshold nor am i willing to risk having baby get stuck so i'm going in for a c-section this friday morning, as recommended by my doc. i suspect as well if we were to wait until next week, baby'd probably hit 4kg and i think my doc wants to avoid that too.
well, all i can say is that baby definitely takes after b as he was born at 4kg! anyway, b is having an anxiety attack of sorts with the knowledge that it's 2 days away that we'll be seeing baby. as for me, i'm talking him through it and i simply can't wait and am so excited!!!!!

a couple of my friends have popped recently and the advice for me is this - take advantage of this period and sleep as much as possible because they can't remember what sleep is (this is of course because they are breastfeeding and have to do it every 2-3 hours). and since i do intend to breastfeed exclusively at least for the first 6 months, trust me, i have been trying my best to get in as much sleep as possible. but unfortunately, the insomnia has come back much stronger during this last trimester. it's either i wake every hour, take 20 minutes to fall asleep again, or i can't fall asleep at all, or i wake at 3am and just lie in bed hoping to fall asleep soon. sigh...................training for the post-natal period? but i must say i have gotten very good in sneaking in 10-20 minutes nap time whenever i do feel sleepy. so i guess i'm still coping alright for now.

got a text from p (in aus) this morning asking if i've already become a mum from the lack of posts on this blog. answer is nope, not yet. i have been staying at home and resting so nothing much has happened and hence there's nothing to blog about. i have been catching up on reading and watching tv (i've never watched so much tv in my entire life!). i walk around the apartment and rock on my feet. this is my only form of exercise now since the haze is still around and i can't trawl the malls anymore because my feet swells up so much.
my due date is on the 21st of august and as of today i have exactly 2 more weeks to go (if baby doesn't come early). my doc will not let me go past my due date because of the previous indeterminate bleeding. well, at least i have a "cut-off" date to deliver.
baby is still gaining weight as of the last check-up, which is surprising considering that a lot of women stop gaining weight towards the last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy. at the rate he's gaining weight, if he gets too big, i'd have to undergo a c-sect. i am not one of those women who have an "absolute ideal birth way to go" that it has to be that particular way or none at all. of course i am really keen on natural birth without epidural or any drugs (just gas and air) but it's not gonna stop me from asking for drugs if i really can't bear the pain! all that matters to me is the best option for my baby and that both baby and me will be fine during the labour process.
i know a lot of women towards the end of their pregnancy can't wait to get their baby out and start to fear the labour process. but not so for me. know what i fear? i fear that i won't know that i'm in labour especially if my water's don't break (water's breaking does not happen for all women).
as it is, i'm not even sure if i'm having braxton hicks (practice contractions from the 8th month onwards). it's describe as a tightening of the whole belly. what i've been feeling are cramp-like sensations and the sudden need to stop whatever i'm doing and to just take a really deep breath. i do feel a slight ache sometimes radiating from my lower back down to my thighs during some of those instances. and yes these sensations are coming more often. after these sensations have passed though i continue with whatever it was i was doing.
anyhow, i guess we'll find out my pain tolerance level when labour begins!

taken at exactly 36 weeks. i've hardly taken any pictures throughout the pregnancy. so i thought that i should at least take pictures at 36 weeks so that i'll know how big i got! not very flattering i must admit but so what!

these images are a tad bit late. these were taken at 35 weeks and i am now 37 weeks. look how round he's gotten! and yes, he was sleeping - again.

a few things i've come up with to do before the due date:

• load up on groceries, toiletries and necessities so that i don't have to worry about running out of toilet roll, toothpaste, etc. and having to go to the supermarket to restock
• besides packing my own hospital bag, i had b pack his stuff as well since he'll also be rooming in with baby and i the entire hospital stay
• trimmed and thinned my hair (but just enough to still tie it up in a ponytail) as washing and blow drying my hair is tedious
• going for a mani and pedi as i simply can not reach my toes anymore and besides why not relax and pamper myself now before the craziness starts? it's also good to have short nails so that i won't scratch baby

i've done the top three and will be doing mani and pedi tomorrow. can't wait!

to g: can you believe that maids from both of our sides (b's and mine) ran away on the same day?! and no, they've never met. my maid was with us for less than a week and b's maid has been with them less than a year. so being the chinese that i am, i bought number (for what are the odds?!) and sad to say, obviously didn't win. anyway, i started off ironing well but then got lazy. so i have decided to tell people that baby was either sleeping or playing in his shirt and that's why his shirts are so crumpled. : )

to p: being someone who does not like to be caught off-guard, i have bought everything that baby could possibly need - i think. thank you for offering though. if only baby showers and gift registry are common over here in kl. that would've have saved us a bundle!

the countdown has officially begun. i have exactly one month to my due date from tuesday. this would be my final week to get everything together in preparation for baby's arrival.
so, i have been doing loads of laundry (all baby's). i washed his clothes twice to remove all and any chemical residues. i was so stressed that i separated his clothes into 6 loads!!! this is simply because his clothes are so bloody expensive (for one top or bottom is equivalent to one of mine!) and i didn't want the colours to run and ruin his clothes. phew! i'm glad i'm done with his laundry now.
next, i have sorted out all his stuff into his cupboards so that i know where all his stuff are. i do not wish to fumble around if i need to look for any of his stuff.
what's left to do over the coming weekend is for b to tackle HIS tasklist for baby (eg learn how to work the steriliser, put up the cot mobile, get used to installing the car seat, etc.) as for me, i have some baby clothes to iron and to pack my hospital bag.
and from next week onwards? i just chill, relax, catch up on reading my baby books and wait, wait, wait............

i have officially started waddling. it's not that my bump's that big but it's the pressure that baby puts on my lower internal parts that kinda hurts and makes it uncomfortable to walk normally. also, i can't really walk anymore as my feet starts to swell up so much that it hurts. i can not imagine so much change in just a week's time! up until last weekend, i was still getting my daily dose of exercise (albeit in shopping malls) walking around non-stop. on weekends, b & i would walk the entire days - mall trawling. i know it's not the typical way to exercise but hey, i can't stand the heat out and the haze has come once again.
thankfully i did not leave things until the last minute as my shopping list is done and i can now just remain at home resting, waiting and tackling final preparations before baby comes!

now that i'm in my last trimester, i'm getting all my first trimester symptoms again - nausea, headaches and insomnia. on top of these, i'm getting swollen ankles, feet and hands. not to forget lower backache. so basically what a wonderful time..................gee whiz................

on another note, i was grocery shopping the other day and this promoter approached me to sell me sanitary pads (NOT maternity pads. the normal ones)! i was like "you blind or you just don't know the facts of life?". what did she expect me to do? buy pads when i'm not menstruating and keep them for like six months post pregnancy?! seriously, sometimes a little common sense goes a long way.

p and m has commented that it's as if i have suddenly bloomed (my bump). so i guess before this it was still questionable whether i was pregnant or just plain fat! on the other hand, people who have not seen me at all throughout this pregnancy say that my bump's really small. well i guess each bump's different and as long as baby's doing fine and growing well that's all that matters (he was 2kg at the last check-up). and anyway, i'm very happy with my bump - i'm bump proud! : )

on another note about our previous scare: b was so worried about getting me to the hospital and to rush me to be admitted that he left me standing on the porch of the hospital! he was going to rush into the lift without me just to get to the labour ward as fast as he could until i called out to him. thankfully the security guard at the hospital noticed me and got me a wheelchair and proceeded to wheel me to b and to the labour ward. guess i perform better in an emergency huh?

so we had a scare last week. i had bleeding and it was NOT spotting. i could feel blood leak out everytime i stood and walked. the funny thing was that i was home the whole of last week because i was just so tired. i was sleeping and resting up and basically just lazing whole days away.
well, i had the presence of mind to first call my doc to let her know that i was bleeding bright red blood and to ask what to do, then i called b to come back immediately to get me to the hospital, then i called my mum. funny huh? the fact that i'm 30 years old and on the verge of becoming a mother, i still turn to my mum when i am absolutely terrified. i guess my two previous miscarriages sprang to mind. i started crying my eyes out to my mum simply because i was so scared that something would happen to my baby so much so that she couldn't understand me. so i had to control myself and explain to her (in between sobs) and she did what i knew she would do - she calmed me down and she started praying. i must admit that that was what i needed and that was the reason i called her. i wasn't sane enough to get the words out to pray so i needed her to do it for me.
then b reached home and we just rushed all the way to the hospital. then i got admitted and my doc came to check on me and baby is fine and healthy.
i basically felt a huge weight leave me the moment i stepped into the hospital. bear in mind i was still shaking on the car ride to the hospital. i sms-ed a few people to ask them to pray for me. i basically wanted to get a prayer chain going. and praise God, everything turned out fine.
my doc couldn't find the cause of my bleeding, which sometimes happen and it is referred to as indeterminate bleeding. she scanned me and did an internal check and everything looked fine. my placenta's in a good place and not prematurely detaching and my cervix was not dilated.
anyhow, i stayed two nights just to be safe. and the cost? RM2000!!!! this is a really expensive baby! but then i'd spend any amount of money to keep him safe.

b and i have been shopping up a storm. and to quote b, "we've never shopped so much in such a short time span since we've gotten married!". it is rather scary i must admit. the amount of money we're spending (this of course includes baby's furniture and additional shelves, etc). and yet if any of you were to come over to our place to see the actual stuff, there's not much to show. ah well, i guess i'll consider these items as investments for the next child. ; )
we literally walk the whole day on shopping days (the weekends. good way to exercise!). i mean i have to check out and compare prices and look out for deals and sales. so, currently my favourite haunts are mothercare, robinson's, tiny tapir and the baby loft. i got most of everything from these places. i am 90% done with baby shopping. i have reserved the last 10% for july because mothercare's having a sale then. every little bit saved, counts!

we went for our usual check-up last week but we didn't manage to get any pictures. first the umbilical cord was in the way. then when baby finally tossed and turned away from the cord, he decided that he still didn't want his picture to be taken by lifting both his arms up and covered his face. hmm.....................

as i am in my third trimester now, i alternate from total exhaustion to bursts of energy. so whenever i am up to it, i go and trawl the malls for baby items. i have started collecting (or rather buying and comparing prices) items on my list whenever i spot them. i just don't want to risk leaving everything to the last month and then realise that i do not have the energy to even get out of the house. this slow amassing of baby items bring to mind the saying, "sikit-sikit lama jadi bukit".
on top of having to buy baby items, i have to also buy furniture, eg baby cupboard, changing table, etc. so you can imagine what all my free time looks like now: BABY ONLY.

i've just come to realise that up until now, which is my 28th week (7 months), i have not been maternity shopping at all. sure i bought new shoes (because my feet grew a size larger) and two pairs of pants 2/3 months back. i also had to buy new bras and undies at the beginning but that's it. i have not had the need to buy new tops. i have a few from my first two pregnancies but that's not many. to tell you the truth, i am still wearing my pre-pregnancy tops. i guess flowy, flare and empire cut tops are pretty useful huh? for the fitting tops that i have, i am still wearing them albeit over a belly band. the belly band is my greatest investment during this time. it covers my belly when my old tops are too short to cover it all. so that's why i guess i do not have the need to buy maternity tops. besides, the belly band kinda looks funky peeping out of my tops.


all my retail therapy is now concentrated on baby stuff..........sigh......what a change

i have just recently finished this book called "consumer reports, best baby products". it is a god-send. it gives you a list of what you need to get for baby (like a starter kit) and what to look our for when getting that particular item. it also tells you which brands are dangerous and recalled models. of course it also tells you the best brands to buy and why.
well, since my reading and research is complete, it's time to go out, compare prices and buy, buy, buy. to tell you the truth, this part scares the hell out of me. just thinking about the moo-lah that we will be spending makes my knees go weak.........

i've been having trouble breathing lately. my nasal passage is so congested it's not good at all. if you recall, in one of my earlier posts, stuffed nose is one of the lesser known "effects" of pregnancy. this is all caused by hormones which make the nasal passage narrower. oh joy. i get to breathe through my mouth. even the nasal spray that my doc prescribed does not help at all (but then again, she prescribed a low dosage for me because of the pregnancy). well, i can only pray and hope it goes away real soon.
another thing i'm struggling with is reflux. it gets so bad sometimes it's scary. even when i'm just sitting down and resting, i feel my heart racing and i can't seem to breathe at all (i guess this is compounded by my stuffed nose). i will feel like i'm fighting for air. and it just seems to come and go whenever it feels like it, whether i'm out and about or just resting.
so there you go: MY joys of pregnancy...............

b and i recently went to langkawi on our "baby-moon". this would be our last trip off as a couple and before the "madness" begins. we stayed in the andaman and i must say i really enjoyed being surrounded by the jungle. it was rather refreshing. to top it off, it was raining in langkawi. so the weather there was perfect as it was cool. (for those who are not in kl, we are currently going through a massive heat wave. i stay in-doors all day and the air-conditioner is turned on day and night. it's so bad that even in the mornings, i turn the air-conditioner on. this is as early as 8:30 am! pregnancy and heat waves is just a complete no-no!)

anyway, i finally got round to taking pictures. (i've just realised that i do not have any pregnant pictures of me). so this is especially for g in uk and p in aus. go ahead and see how round i am. ; )

* these pictures were taken when i was 24 weeks (6 months)

at 22 weeks

view between his legs. to proof he's a boy ; )

playing with his hands and fingers.

to p in aus:

i believe it lasts throughout pregnancy. i can only guess now because i'm only half-way through it. and it comes and goes whenever it wants. no control over it whatsoever.

things that i did not expect from pregnancy:

• how my skin would react - bright red spots (rashes) all over my legs. it looked like i had a really bad allergy going on. but thankfully, they were not itchy at all.
• the pain coming from my areolas - i was expecting pain in my breasts but not my areolas. it felt like someone was sticking pins into my areolas!

favourite drinks of the moment:

• lemonade (because it's sweet and sour at the same time)
• ribena + spritzer (a pretend soft drink)

additional comments on my previous blog:
i absolutely hate it when people, books, docs etc, describe the feeling of a baby movement is like the fluttering of a butterfly. who in the world has actually felt the flutter of a butterfly?! definitely not me and not many others i assume. so if one has never felt the flutter of a butterfly how would you be able to tell or notice?
when i mentioned that the very first time baby moved it felt like the flutter of a butterfly it was simply because it was so faint (this was about a couple of weeks back) so naturally i assumed that was how a butterfly fluttering would feel like (because they're beautiful, fragile and light?!). well, just take note that i think my description that it feels like gas would be more useful for who has never felt gas?

i have been feeling baby move for the past month or so now. but i only feel him move when i am still because he's still small (22 weeks to date). i must say it feels really nice. b asks me how does it feel and my answer is it feels like gas (not a very pretty image is it?). well at the very first time, it felt like the fluttering of a butterfly (a prettier description i guess).
he regularly moves when i am lying in bed at night before i go to sleep. and if i move into another position which he does not like, he'll move (or rather kick) so much that i have to move back into my original position. then he'll calm down (already asserting himself and me giving in!). another time when he moves without fail is at 5 am every morning. he's like my personal alarm clock.
i sometimes just let him be because it's nice to feel him move. at other times, i start talking to him and put my hand on my tummy and he'll stop. b and i simply can't wait for him to get bigger (me included) so that at least b will be able to feel him tumble around too.

cravings which can not be satisfied:

• a thick slab of steak prepared medium-well (i've already told b that this is better be my first meal after delivery)
• sushi
• bloody "kerang"

on top of our purchase of the buggy, we bought a cot as well. this time I found a real deal. i chose the ashton cot bed from mothercare. it was priced at RM800 +. i was prepared to fork out that sum when at the cashier, to my surprise it was only RM700 because the price i saw was before any discount. needless to say, i was overjoyed.
we have been looking at cots here and there and the prices were ridiculous! they all started from a thousand over and they were all so poorly made and not sturdy at all. while the really sturdy ones were in the range of 3k and above.
i was originally going to buy a cot from ikea. i know this is surprising to a lot of people (me included) but ikea baby items are very highly rated in my organic pregnancy guide simply because ikea does not use any toxic materials (eg paint) on their baby products. the cot in ikea was really sturdy and it was only RM630. well worth the money if you compare with the cots available out there. but i bought the mothercare cot as it is obviously nicer and has extra features.
so, below is a list of features of the cot:

• no drop sides as this is the most stable approach because there is less hardware hence there is less chance of parts going missing or breaking (i had to make sure that i could reach the lowest position though as we all know how vertically challenged i am!)
• frame is extremely solid and sturdy
• solid ends at both ends of the cot (ie no slats) because baby will be sleeping in the feet-to-foot position to prevent him from sliding under any blankets and getting trapped
• the thickness of the slats on the sides were not too thin
• mattress support is sturdy and held securely in place
• no wheels on the legs of the cot so there is less chance of forgetting to lock the wheels and having accidents with the cot
• three mattress positions available
• no corner posts to prevent baby's clothes from snagging on them and hence choking
• both side rails have teething rails and they remain firmly in place
• slats are not too far apart (try pushing a soda can through the slats. if it can pass through then the slats are too far apart. and yes i brought a soda can along)
• no protruding nuts, screws, etc
• most importantly, they were willing to hold the cot until nearer to my delivery date and the warranty also only starts from the delivery date.

so here's the list of what the quinny buzz travel system satisfied:

• the infant car seat reclines at an angle suitable for infants
• it comes with a handle
• it has a three point harness (two shoulder straps and a crotch strap)
• the infant car seat is easy to attach unto and detach from the stroller frame
• for the stroller meanwhile, the tyres are air-filled and hence they are more shock-absorbing, cushier and hence the seat is better supported (the jogging b is going to be doing)
• the front wheels swivel for easy maneuvering
• easy to fold down and unfold (remember the pneumatic system?!)
• the seat is padded and cushy
• easy to maneuver around
• has adjustable single handle height (good for parents varying in height like b & i)
• seat is reversible (forward facing and rear facing)
• has three incline positions in forward facing position and two incline positions in rear facing position
• brake mechanism is easy to use
• the frame is solid and sturdy
• the canopy has a clear plastic window so that we can check on baby from the top
• fabric is washable
• and most importantly, it fits into our car and the warranty starts from my delivery date even though we have brought the stroller home

so there you go, my checklist for infant car seat and stroller.

my weekends nowadays consist of running around doing errands related to baby. i've been clearing up our condo to make room for him. so that involves moving furniture around and planning for additional shelves, etc. i also have to look into the stuff we need to get in preparation for baby AND making a budget! on top of all these, i have our usual errands to run, eg, banks, grocery shopping (i have started cooking again!), etc.
the weekend before last, i saw an advertisement promoting strollers at 80% off. so off we trudged to the sale. before we went to this sale, i had already eyed a deal on a quinny zapp travel system (an infant car seat and a stroller). it was being offered at RM1,700. so when we were at the sale, i headed straight to this set to check it out. after going through my list of requirements, even though this set did not meet a few of my requirements, i was all set on it as we are only going to be using it in malls and hence it did not need to be extremely solid, etc. as we were making our way to the checkout counter, i spotted the quinny buzz travel system (this is obviously more stylo and more canggih). i was just looking (with no intentions of purchasing it at all) when b asked me to try it out. so i got the salesgirl to give us a demo. (point to note: the quinny buzz travel system satisfied everything on my list). the moment the salesgirl showed us the pneumatic system whereby the stroller frame pops up by itself, i knew b was a goner. you could literally see his face go "wow, that's so cool!". i was like "oh-oh, here we go.................."
so needless to say, we bought the quinny buzz travel system at RM3000!!!!!!! when we reached home, i asked b if he realised that we spent and additional RM1300 just because he wanted to look cool, his reply - "i'll start jogging with baby in the stroller and baby will not be allowed to walk around because he will be in his stroller all the time". ie, he's going to get his money's worth out of it. (personally, i doubt the jogging bit!)
as the stroller is the only "gadgetry, machinery" baby item, b has left all the other baby items up to me. he wants no part in it. sigh............men and their gadgets.

4d scans at 19 weeks:

e's pregnancy survivor kit or alternatively, why e's handbag is so huge and heavy:

• sick bags, ie the same ones you get on an airplane. i've come to realise that when i need to hurl, i need to hurl, now. there are no warning signs in advance.
• dettol wet wipes for those times when the public restrooms do not have soap or for when i'm to lazy to go to the loo to wash my hands before i eat in restaurants.
• tissues (i am known as the tissue lady)
• shawl. i know that pregnant women feel hot all the time but i swing from being hot and cold just as quickly.
• a bottle of water because pregnant women should drink lots of fluids.
• mints for fresh breath after hurling.
• a pouch filled with snacks for those in between meal times when i get hungry. i have mini boxes of raisins and travel packed crackers.
• an extra bag for times when i decide to buy something because i "say no to plastic bags!"
• a notebook and a pen to jot notes down because i have a tendency to forget things (aka pregnancy brain)