back to the pre-school topic. i must admit that i'm pretty glad that baby c is not walking yet. the minute after i enrolled him, i started to miss him. crazy right? i started having doubts about sending him to school. is he too young? too small? how would he communicate? how would the teacher treat him? will he cry a lot or not at all? then i kept on seeing his pitiful crying face in my head. and my heart would break and ache. then after a round of these questions in my head, logic and sanity would come in. i would go back to all the reasons why i enrolled him in the first place. to let him mingle, socialise, play with other kids and to give myself a break. besides, i reasoned, if he really didn't like pre-school or if it upsets him too much, i'd pull him out and try again the next term.
ever since we started talking about school, baby c has decided to stick to a routine (he dumped his routines when he was about 6 months old. and it was hell!). on his own, at the start of this year, he has decided that he will take his nap in the mornings (he dropped all his naps the same time he dropped his routine at 6 months). so now, it is even easier having him at home with me. see my dilemma? he now sleeps anywhere from 10am onwards till 12noon. stays awake the whole afternoon then goes to bed by 8pm or even earlier. before this he started going to bed whenever he wanted to; at 9, 10 or even 11pm and still woke at 6am and did not nap at all during the day! needless to say, i was very burnt out during those months. but now that things have settled back into a predictable routine, i get a break and breathing room, it's wonderful again to have baby c with me at all times. so.........him not walking yet, is not a bad thing. he can take all the time he wants for all i care.

before the end of last year, i went on a search for pre-schools. i did my research and decided that i wanted the montessori way for baby c. basically, the montessori way lets the child develop at his/her own rate. they do not force the child to participate in activities. and this makes sense to me because this is how i deal with him too as i don't like to use force. so i visited a number of pre-schools based on the locations that i was willing to venture to daily, considering distance and traffic. so i checked out places in bangsar, damansara heights and mont kiara. i didn't even go in to a few places based on the outlook of the place. they were pretty rundown. one place was swarming (and i mean it) with kids and teachers. another had mold growing on the walls and the floors were icky and sticky. the principal of this place kept on referring to "her boss this and that" to all my questions, which led me to think that SHE was not that invested in her school. another one was so crammed with tables and chairs and they had their "play gym" in an upstairs room which had no ventilation. one didn't want to make the effort to see us on a saturday. a place i really, really liked was only offering play classes twice a week, 3 hours per session AND i had to be present. so, needless to say all these places did not make the cut in my books.
BUT one place stood out. the owner agreed to meet us on a saturday after school was out. so it meant that she went in just to show us around and to answer my questions. i immediately liked her the moment we stepped in as she brought toys out to entertain baby c while we chatted. also, this place was started by her and her partner (both mothers with young babies at that time). either she or her partner will always be around during school hours. number of children are kept small so that kids have breathing space. for baby c's age group, they only have a total of 15 children with a teacher-student ratio of 1:5. the place was clean and tidy. they also alternate between water and sand play weekly. meals are provided for. they give an option of pick-up times of 11:45am or 12:30pm. it was the owner whom i felt really comfortable with which made me decide on this place. it felt like talking to another mum, who has been there and understood my concerns and who has seen almost all. obviously we chatted for sometime as my list (in my previous blog) was pretty long. after visiting this place, i was 90% set on it. but i continued down my shortlist and after i was done, i went back to her to sign baby c up. i got a glimpse of baby c's class as they were having holiday programs on and i liked what i saw. so baby c has been enrolled BUT has not attended school yet as they'll only take him in once he starts walking. and yes, he's NOT walking yet. well...............i used to worry about milestones but not anymore. he'll start when he wants to. :)

a little guide to selecting the right pre-school:

pre-school physical environment:

• is it clean, spacious, bright and appealing?
• are there lockers, cubbies or hangers for personal belongings?
• are the toilets and kitchen clean?
• are the school grounds safe and secure?
• are the equipments well maintained and plentiful?
• are the furniture and fittings and toilets child sized?
• no rows and facing the blackboard, ala classroom setting, for the Montessori way

teacher-student relationship, school-student relationship:

• are the children given individual attention?
• what is the ratio of teacher to kids? (for baby c's age group at 18 months, the ideal is 1:4)
• do the teachers and staff have qualifications?
• is there anyone who's trained in CPR and first aid around at all times?
• what are the procedures for emergencies?
• do they administer medication?
• what happens to the children if they fall sick in school?
• do they keep accident reports during school so that the parents know the causes of bruises, etc?
• what discipline methods are employed if there are discipline methods. what punishment for what actions?
• what is the school's program? are the teaching methods by experiencing and doing or are they by lecturing?
• are the materials accessible to the children and stored at their level?
• are they in good condition and regularly cleaned?
• if the child stays in the same school for a period of time, will his/her teacher follow him up to the next levels?
• what are the school fees and the notice for termination?
• do they offer free trials?

other points to note:

• ensure that they do NOT take the child off school grounds during school hours
• do they have fire drills?
• do they take in kids who are not potty trained yet?
• does the child need to be walking yet?
• will they allow a parent to stay for the first few days? or will they guide parents on the separation process?

shortly after baby c turned one, i started to think about sending him to pre-school. my reasons then were that i needed time off as baby c turned very demanding, expecting and needing my attention 24/7. some days he would just cling to me like a limpet. i was tired beyond words, carrying him, entertaining him, following his every move so that he wouldn't fall (he only started to crawl after he turned one). on top of that, i was only on my road to recovery. so my search started. then only did i find out that pre-schools here only accept kids in at 18 months earliest. (day care accepts them at any age). so i had to improvise as baby c will only turn 18 months next year.
i gradually introduced baby c to tv (i am NOT proud of this. i did well for 13 months with no tv at all). at the beginning, he didn't have the interest. he'd turn away after 5 minutes. but then he started to like it and was entertained by it. so now, he gets 50 minutes in the mornings, when i am putting the house in order and getting ready, AND another 50 minutes in the evenings, when i am preparing dinner. it is not out of control tv watching the whole day. and boy oh boy, what bliss it is for me during those two 50 minutes sessions. i get to get things done without baby c crying and screeching the house down. and if i'm quick, i get to sit down and read the papers or a book.
so NOW that it is easier, i was a bit torn about sending him to pre-school. it was should i, should i not? after thinking it through, i am going ahead with it as both b and i have noticed that baby c is always curious and wanting to play with other kids now. so we want him to mingle and to socialise. besides, pre-school at 18 months is not really school. it's more of play, snack, try and learn some abcs, numbers and music. it's more geared towards fun, fun, fun. and fun is what i hope for him!

baby c has been travelling since he was 6 months old. and he has been a great traveller. our last trip was to milan and he had no trouble adjusting to the time change. he enjoyed himself thoroughly there. he does well on planes too (after our nightmarish initial flight, he's been good ever since). bear in mind all these trips were done before he turned one.
well, the only trip we have taken since he turned one was to melbourne. he was 14 months. he was great on the flight and when we reached my cousin's home (she has a girl who's 3 1/2 and a boy who's 4 months), he was drawn immediately to the kids. which came as a surprise to b and i as he has NEVER liked other kids. he has always preferred and mingled with adults. he didn't even need to warm up. he just got down and explored the house, making himself at home and playing with the 3 1/2 year old. so everything was perfect (or so we thought).
THEN it began. he was perfect during the days. but when night came, he couldn't settle at all. we were there for 16 days and i kid you not when i say that we probably only slept for 4 nights. how in the world we survived, i don't know. it got so bad that he would cry the whole night through. i had to carry him standing up and rock him. yet he would not stop crying. b and i thought he was not well and we brought him to the hospital only to be told there's nothing wrong with him and $200 poorer.
a couple who travelled with us also had trouble with their 15 month old. she could not settle at nights either. needless to say, they too hardly slept.
well, during the mid-point of our stay there, we finally realised it's because baby c is much older now and much more aware. it didn't matter during the days because he was so busy playing with his cousins and even back here, i usually bring him out. it's the nights that the needs his familiar environment. sort of his security.
well, we were there 16 days, and the only sightseeing we did was to the zoo and to the museum. all i can say is this: we are NOT travelling until he's much older and can understand. (well not overseas and not for long periods anyway).

you know how babies love finding holes and sticking their fingers into them? well baby c found a new hole today - his nostril. he'll have his pointer in his nostril and his thumb in his mouth, simultaneously. and then he looks at you like "what?". and then he bursts into the cheekiest grin possible.

isn't it funny how you know your true heart's desire when you're standing at the edge of the cliff and then push comes to shove? well, i had that moment over the weekend. b and i have always wanted another baby. and i told him i wanted to start trying slightly before baby c turns one. my logic was that i want to get all these sleepless nights and these "slogging" years over and done with before i really can't keep up. then my condition took over and when i thought i had a really major illness and was tired all the time, i told b no more kids. and i was adamant about this. over the weekend i went for a colonoscopy and endoscopy to check out my stomach. i reacted so strongly to the medication that i was vomiting non-stop the whole morning. even the nurses kept on asking me if i was pregnant. i emphatically told them no each time. after the procedure, i came home with medication. and i suffered from such severe nausea which reminded me of how it was when i was pregnant at the beginning of each pregnancy (even b thought that i could be pregnant). slowly the thought and suspicion started to form in my head that i could be pregnant. i'll admit i started to feel excited and extremely happy with this idea. then i did a pregnancy test but it was negative (i took it too early, but then i wanted to make sure that i wasn't harming my baby with this medication). my heart sank. i felt so disappointed. off i went to my gynae JUST to reconfirm and yes, i'm not pregnant. i know i'm on the pill but nothing's really ever fail-safe right? (and i was counting for it NOT to work this time). all i can say is: i'm itching - real bad - to have another baby. i know both b and i agreed to start trying at the end of this year but i can't wait to start! but the reality is this: it would be a lot easier for us (well me really) if we started trying early next year when baby c is in pre-school. i'd have some time off and he'd be walking by then. also, we'd really need to look into getting a bigger place as now baby c's stuff is already swallowing up our apartment. sigh............i hate it when want and need collide!