i do not blame my doc. in fact i really like her & i'm really comfortable with her. both b & i saw a number of docs before her before finally deciding to stick with her. we talk to her like how we talk to our friends. and most importantly, we trust her.
the decisions ALL three of us made were based on her recommendations & knowledge lumped together with our own research and going back to her with a list of questions for clarification. and she took her time going through them answering our questions and making sure we understood thoroughly. besides, we didn't have red alerts going through our heads because nobody in our families had any problems like this before.
my doc didnt want me to delay the inevitable the first time round. also she didnt want me to get anymore bonded with my baby then i already had. it would have been more difficult i guess if i continued bonding with my baby. besides, I am her patient. not my baby. so she wanted to do what's best for me.
this second time round, she fought for me to keep my babies even though the prognosis was not good. as long as there were heartbeats, she told me to maintain the pregnancy. the diff? because this second time round she couldn't see any deformities - they were still too small. it was just the heartbeat rates. and she said who knows? maybe the heartbeats would go up. she was not willing to recommend termination as long as she could not see any deformities on the scan.
the first time round, the deformities were so apparent on the scan. we did a cvs for confirmation. then that was it. there was nothing she could do to change the prognosis. so she recommended what's best for me.
all i'm saying is, i know my doc does not recommend termination lightly & i KNOW for a fact that she would really like to see b & i having a baby. she has not given up hope for us, neither has she given up on us. and so all three of us soldier on.