dear God it's me e.
where are you? why, why, why? am not i worthy enough? am i not holy enough? am i not good enough? have i not spent enough hours praying? have i not spent enough time with you? have i been bad?
why is it that some people get their prayers answered so easily? why do you heap blessings after blessings onto them? what about b and i? are we doing something wrong here or are there things that we are not doing?
i'm crashing into a downward spiral of despair and it feels like i can't stop it. it feels like i'm walking in darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. please God, please. where are you?