this is me coming out of the closet: yes, i am pregnant. i'm sure everyone have guessed it by now. i am now 12 weeks and all the tests came back perfect. now, for those who think that the reason i didn't say anything earlier is because i believe in the "pantangs" you're wrong. it's just that i had bleeding and spotting earlier on and it was a bit touch and go for a while and we didn't know what would happen (besides, the first trimester is always fragile). that was why i kept quiet about it. but now i'm glad it's out in the open!
as i mentioned in my earlier postings, b and i had stopped trying. and to tell the truth i was quite surprised with the positive reading on the pee stick! i had no inkling whatsoever that i was pregnant. for that particular month, we only had sex once and then also not on those specific dates. so imagine what a surprise it was (albeit a sweet and pleasant surprise).
this time round, the pregnancy has been a lot easier. i don't feel sick all the time (unlike the last two pregnancies). i do get nausea off and on and in fact i lost weight because i didn't really have the appetite to eat. besides that, no cons at all this time round.
one thing i've noticed though: i am just so relaxed and chilled with this pregnancy. i have stopped cramming facts from pregnancy books into my head and i even indulge my eating habits off and on. it's almost as if "oh, this has all happened before, so no big deal". i hardly even talk to my baby and obviously no reading bedtime stories to baby! i also am not thinking bout my baby 24/7. i'm acting so different from the last two pregnancies, that i myself can't believe it's me sometimes. it's almost as if there's no "kan cheong-ness" at all.
i am basically just letting it all be and maybe i'm in a different phase or i've changed. but that does not mean that i do not love my baby or that i'm not protective and excited about my bump. i believe everything will fall in place in good time.