the first day that i was all alone with baby, i'll admit that i was terrified and nervous. i got so used to having people around and not looking after him myself that i went into a comfort zone. the morning was terrible. he wouldn't sleep and wanted to be carried the whole morning. by the time b came home for lunch, i was in tears. it was so tough! i was wondering why was it so easy for the confinement lady to handle him and not me? i was questioning myself. b offered to bring baby to the office but i refused(i wonder how that would work?). i knew that i had to persevere and to adjust to baby and to learn how to handle him. so i marched on through the afternoon. although it was not perfect, it was much better than the morning session.
and now here i am one week later, and i must say i'm glad i persevered and both baby and i thoroughly enjoy our times together. i can not believe that within a week, we have fallen into more or less a routine. i'd get up bright and early before 7 and prepare for the day ahead. wash bottles, sterilise, disinfect changing table, empty diaper bin, do laundry, do the floors then have breakfast. by that time, baby is half awake. b will bring him out to me and i'd clean him up and change him. then it's either he goes back to sleep or we'll have a "wakeful" period where i talk and sing to him and he coos, smiles and laughs back at me. and after this session, it's feeding time and then down for a nap. before his next feed (which is 3 hourly now), he'll get up and we'll have tummy time. by then b would be back with lunch. sometimes, baby will also entertain himself and i'd do some household chores. when b is back, i get an hour to eat, pump, wash and sterilise bottles and bathe (for all the spit-ups, pees, sneezes and sometimes poop!) before he heads back to work. baby will have naps and another round of "wakeful" period and tummy time in the afternoon. b will arrive home from work at about 6ish and then i'll prepare baby's bath. baby has his bath, then a feed and then he's off to bed. and i must say, this routine has stuck and i'm pretty happy about it as baby's in bed latest by 7pm.
after 7, b and i will have our own time to do our own things. for me, it'd be to catch up on household chores or if i'm really tired, i'd just eat then off to bed i go for the night sessions. b handles baby at night and the nighttime feeds while i prepare the bottles for him to feed baby. then the same routine starts again the next day. well, i'm just happy that both baby and i have finally adjusted to each other and though there are still some bad moments (eg wanting to be carried all the time, won't sleep soundly, lack of sleep, diaper explosions and baby's not co-operating by wailing and squirming so much that poo gets everywhere - not pretty) i must say that when he looks at me and smiles, laughs and coos, everything is totally worth it. i guess babies have a way of making the good times extremely outweigh the bad times!